What Makes a Day Special?

It was my birthday yesterday.

In retrospect, it was in sharp contrast with that of last year when I had made grand plans of joining my husband in SA where he was to attend a conference.
Even though we'd sent in our visa applications around the same time, we had to send them in separately - the attendees to the conference had made a group application. Even at that, I was quite confident and so I booked a seat on the same flight as he.

A week to our travel date -
 10 days to my birthday, he got his passport back, visa granted. I waited and waited for mine but it didn't come. I cried as I dropped him off at the airport; there went all my birthday plans. The way I cried, you would think someone died.

It wasn't until a friend literally slapped me out of my daze: "so you haven't heard from the embassy and you won't go and find out why?" - that I gathered myself together. It really hadn't occurred to me that I could contact the Embassy directly. I had only besieged the NVS center and each time, I had received the same response, "Madam, when we get your passport, we will contact you".

It was a day to my birthday and I was determined to speak to someone at the Embassy. They had turned me back at the gate of the Embassy but I would not be deterred. I searched online and found several phone numbers but they were either wrong numbers or the Embassy people just weren't taking any calls that day.
Minute after minute, hour after hour, I dialled and redialled those numbers until it became mindless repetition. Suddenly after a very long time someone picked! I told the woman my story and without much ado, she said, "Check the NVS center tomorrow".
I thought I didn't hear her right but then she said it again.

My birthday went by rather fleetingly as I dashed from the NVS center where I went to pick up my passport, to the airport to have my ticket changed, back home to throw my stuff into a suitcase (I apparently didn't have much faith in the Embassy-woman's assurance or I'd have ghad my suitcase packed the night before) and back to the airport to catch my 9pm flight.

I spent my birthday night alone with an aircraft pillow and blanket for company but at least I was on my way to be with my prince.


This year was different. There was no rush. No grand plans. Just the decision to be at peace with myself and to do the thingss that make me happy.

And so, I set out to give myself a treat. I spent a good part of the day at the spa getting a massage, facials and all whatnot. And then there was the photo shoot at a friend's Studio. I laughed and laughed as he allowed me goof around while he just clicked away.

My day was wrapped up nicely as hubby and I sipped on Irish Cream in tall glasses, reminiscing.

So, my question again. What makes a day special?

For me, a day is as special as we decide it is. It's not so much what we do as how we feel about what we do.

Yesterday was very special not only because it was my birthday but also because in my heart I decided that no matter what happened I deserved to be happy and I carried that special feeling everywhere with me.

Everyday can be as special as we want it to be and birthdays are a good reason to feel special.

I am deeply grateful to God for another year and I re-dedicate my life to serve God and humanity.

So help me God.

Of New Years' Resolutions and Baby Steps

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know right? Everyone's done with their New Year greetings and have already settled into the year 'proprolly'.
January ends in exactly 7 days from today and I'm like, what? The year only just started! But isn't it true what they say; "How time flies"? Even though it's rather cliche, you just can't fault it.

So, for those of us who made New Year Resolutions, how's that going for you?

I don't do new year resolutions. Well, I don't think of them as new year resolutions. The few times I tried, I failed at them miserably. In the process, I discovered the aspects of my "resoluteness" I wasn't getting quite right.

Whoever came up with this Lunar Calendar system in use today did us a great service. Sometimes, I wonder how life would be if we weren't able to track the days as they rolled into weeks and the weeks as they rolled into months and months into years. Time would just click by inexorably and life would barely have meaning! It's not as if the passage of time in itself is noteworthy but being able to track the beginning and end of a thing or event somehow gives us a sense of accomplishment. Let me not run off  with this train of thought, all I meant to say with all that narrative is that the start of a new year is like being presented a fresh, blank sheet of paper. It is an opportunity to re-write the script and tell  our life's story from a different perspective.

This fresh sheet is all too precious to carelessly drool across it superficial goals many people refer to as "New Years' Resolutions". At least that was the way it was for me. Without any form of stock-taking or any real plans, I would just decide within my heart; in the new year, I would stop doing so and so; I would start doing so and so; I would do more of so and so etcetera. The interesting thing is, before the end of the first month of the new year, I would have forgotten what half of my resolutions were and failed woefully at the other half I managed to remember!

I read a book once that changed my perspective. I find it weird that for a book that has done so much for me, I can neither remember the title nor the author! It was one of those books you read in passing....maybe picked up on the coffee table of a random office reception...not one that was purchased or received.

Anyways, this book spoke about setting goals- short term and long term goals. It also encouraged people to take real stock and measure achievements. Setting goals also included workable plans of how to achieve them. No, it's not some geeky, boring exercise but something rather practical and enjoyable too, once you get into it. And you know what the best part was, you get to have allowances for failure!

That's where the baby steps come in.

Did you know that in order to steer a ship you only need to adjust this one mechanical item called a rudder? Of course the steering system of a ship consists of much more than the rudder but all you want to do is to adjust the angle of the rudder which causes the water beneath the ship to change direction and ultimately get the ship to change direction. Steering a ship is not the same as steering a car so you don't get to turn your steering wheel left as you would a car to get it to go left at the exact moment you need to turn left.
 In a ship, you make little adjustments to the angle of the rudder over a period of time to get the ship to finally turn in the direction you want. Those little adjustments MUST be made at the right time otherwise, it might be too late to get out of the way of an obstacle which may sink the ship.

My emphasis again, with all that 'lecture' on ship steering is that if we want to make a change in our lives, we will need to start with baby steps, making little, calculated changes as we go along; all the while having our target goal in mind.

So now you understand why I'm not a fan of New Years' Resolutions as the term is generally used. Goal setting should be an on-going process in our lives. And we should be at liberty to change those goals, update, upgrade and tweak them as we see fit. Plus add new goals to our list as time goes on. Oh, did I mention that these goals HAVE to be written in black and white? Mhm, they do! Goals should be flexible enough to absorb our slip-ups which will happen from time to time. That's what I meant by including allowances for failure. Most people create goals that are so rigid that a single slip-up could cause the goal to be abandoned entirely.

With the big picture in mind, you'll understand that failure is part of growing up and getting better. So what do you do? You pick yourself up and forge ahead!

Finally, regardless of how many goals and plans we set, without the Lord's help, there's a very slim to zero chance of success.

Trust in the  Lord  with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 KJV)

I wish us all a fulfilling 2013!

Scammed - The Realization.

 In less than 30minutes, with the Branch Manager overseeing the entire thing, I got my money back! Elated, I walked out of the banking hall, humming a tune and feeling rather satisfied with myself. All was alright with the world until I got a call from Juliet O. several hours later - "Ah, Enkay, I got the alert but when I went to the bank they said there was no money there..." Suddenly I began to feel sorry for her. I had promised to send her something and she was there in another city probably stranded. The earnestness in her voice made me feel ashamed of my thoughts earlier. Juliet O. had been instrumental to the increased response we had received so far towards the planning of our reunion and there I was thinking she wanted to scam me. "Em..yes...the branch where I paid the money had some technical issues just be patient, it would be resolved..." I lied.
Juliet O. called me several times over the next few days and she did a good job of pestering me without outrightly seeming to be. I cannot explain it. The voice on the other end of the line was appealing and begging without the kind of groveling that would have put me off. Juliet O. was giving facts and figures of this business deal of hers and how it was just this sum that was required to seal it all off. Eventually, I succumbed. I went o another branch of the bank a few days later and paid in the money and as I did so, my heart sank. Somehow, I suspected that I had been scammed but it seemed I was powerless in the matter. 

As you may have guessed by now, the story went down hill from there.

1 week after the deadline Juliet O. gave for returning the money my suspicion was gradually becoming fact.

Juliet O. picked my every call and with that mousy voice of hers, gave one excuse after the other. But I was patient. A few days later, Juliet O. called to tell me she finally had the money and could I re-send my account details? I could hardly believe my ears! I was going to get my money back! I waited endlessly for the credit alert but it never came. This was a Friday. I was unable to reach Juliet O. until the following Monday. She was sniffing and sounded like someone who had been crying. I knew it was yet another tale but nothing prepared me for what Juliet O. told me next.

According to her, she had spent the entire weekend in a police cell. Inwardly, I slapped my palms together in that way a Nigerian woman would when she meant to say "Wonders shall never end" in an incredulous manner.
"What happened?"
"On my way to the bank, that Friday, a little girl was crossing the street on her way from school and it all happened so fast, I ran over her..." her voice trailed off.
"Ah! My God, that's terrible!" I exclaimed. Surely no one would tell lies with such a thing?
Juliet O. found her voice again ..."We rushed to the hospital and I spent all the money I had....." I rolled my eyes, yeah right, so that was where my money went eh?
Just so I didn't sound like an unfeeling debt collector I asked "But the little girl is going to be okay?".
At that question, Juliet O. let out a sob that made me cringe "...no, the girl died last night..."
"Ah!"
Juliet was really crying now and I was the one consoling her. This wahala she had got herself into seemed like it was far greater than whatever amount of money she owed me. I just could not imagine being responsible for the death of a little girl.
Just before the call ended, Juliet O. started saying something about getting my money to me somehow, I cut in and told her to take as much time as she needed.

In the mean time, the plans for the reunion were underway and a meeting had been scheduled with Senior Amina Bello (She had successfully held a reunion in the London a few years before). Another Committee member Tola Peters*  who was a set below Juliet O. was to attend the meeting with me.

At the meeting I mentioned to Tola Peters that Juliet O. was in big trouble. "How so?" she asked.
"She had an accident in which a little girl was run over. She was the one driving...."

Tola smiled sadly "Hmm, yes. It was really a tough time for Juliet O."

I nodded "The little girl died"

Tola looked alarmed "She died?!" I nodded yes.

"Ah, all I heard was that the little girl's family had Juliet arrested and that they planned to take Juliet's daughter away from her..."

Tola seemed so familiar with Juliet O's story but the incident only just happened....wait a minute, Juliet has a daughter too?

"Em, Tola, when exactly did this accident of Juliet's happen?" I asked, my heartbeat racing.

Tola looked up at the ceiling as though mentally calculating. "That should be 7years ago now...ah she called to ask me for money saying that she needed to pay some hospital bills...."

I was no longer listening to Tola....

It suddenly dawned on me that Juliet O.was indeed a Professional Con and I had just been scammed. Big time!

By the time Senior Amina Bello joined us, she wanted to know what it was we were talking about that had me looking so crestfallen.

We told her. And that was when I revealed that I had given Juliet O. some money for a business deal.

"Haba! So you mean you people have not heard the Juliet O. story?!"

That was when Senior Amina started telling us the Legend of Juliet O.