2 years and counting!

Maybe that should read 6 years and counting huh?

Well simply because it was around this time 6years ago that I first laid eyes on you. At first I had thought it was a gathering of a few corpers from my school who were trying to connect with each other at the NYSC camp until an argument broke out on which school was better, our own University of Technology or your own Ife. You did quite a good job defending the "Great Ife" even though you were easily outnumbered. I didn't really believe you attended Ife 'cos you were just too soft-spoken. Ife guys were Aluta guys! ASUU strikes originated from there for pete's sake! They didn't talk quietly, uh-uh *shaking my head*
Funny thing, but that was all the memory I had of you as we left the place that day -"The Great Ife guy with the quiet voice"

Amazingly, our lines crossed and re-crossed until we found each other working on the same team! I found it so easy to talk to you and you were such a good listener that sometimes I stopped mid-sentence to ask "am I talking too much?" Your answer was pretty much the same every time, "Nah, go ahead. I enjoy listening to you". I would smile and plunge right back into whatever it was I was saying.

We built this friendship of ours for 2 years before we decided to take it a step further. We agreed to turn our friendship into a 'real' relationship. One with prospects for the future. We became committed to each other. I still think you had it a bit too easy , hahaha! I should have let you give me an outright chase. You know, I should have acted coy, and pretended that I didn't know what you were talking about...I'm sure you get. I didn't have the 'liver' I guess. I was so in love! I'd never felt the way I felt with you and I knew in my heart that I wasn't just being infatuated. There was just something about us. It wasn't anything fiery or passionate....I'm trying to gather my words to explain it. There was a steadiness about us. A solidness. Yeah there was passion in our eyes when we looked at each other but we weren't all about passion. There was a fulness. A well-roundedness. Am I getting verbose now? Hehehe!

With you, suddenly, my future was clear and much more defined. And as we talked each one of the dreams we had for our individual futures, it was as though each one was speaking the other's heart! I had always wondered when I was younger if marriage would somehow reduce me and place me behind a man in such a way that I was only allowed to walk in his shadow. I had such an independent mind that I had heard comments like "Enkay, take it easy o! No man wants to feel like his wife is a challenge". I couldn't understand it. So did it mean that i could never rise to my highest height in life just because I was married?
You managed to dispel my fears with your words and I trusted you. Even though they seemed like mere words at first, I knew you were a man who was true to his words.

Exactly 2 years ago today, we walked down the aisle to say our vows. Everything happened so fast and suddenly the minister declared us "Man and Wife!". I remember that day like it was yesterday, the specifics are a bit blurry but these words reverberated in my subconscious....."I believe this is forever"

I kept saying to myself, "Enkay, you are married and this is forever!". I wasn't saying it out of fear but I guess i was trying to impress it upon my self on every level. "This is forever! A life of pure bliss!"

I could tell anyone just how beautiful our lives have been since then and indeed it has. Entwined in that beauty have been challenges. Real challenges that have often stretched us and in the process caused us to grow. Baby, sometimes I looked and I thought,
"how are we going to get over this one now?"
Not once did I see you waver and you weren't just trying to be strong for me. Your faith in God, in yourself and in us has amazed me again and again. To tell the truth, it sometimes irked me. Hahaha! How is it that you are not reacting to this piece of news like I am? How can you stay so strong? Those were my thoughts.
I remember those times too when it seemed like you'd had it and you knew it was okay to be vulnerable sometimes.

Remember those words with which you dispelled my fears about being myself and stretching myself as far as I could even after marriage? You have stayed true to them still. You have been the extra wind beneath my wings constantly urging me to soar and soar even higher. Not once have I felt hedged in. If anything, you expressed concern over my seeming lack of inspiration sometimes.

Today, I celebrate you. I celebrate us. Our challenges and our victories. Our lives and the fullness of it all. There is nothing we cannot accomplish together. This is to our future, so bright, so beautiful.The mere though of it makes me giggle with anticipation, almost like a little girl.

You know what? I can truly and honestly say that today, I love you even more than I did in the beginning.

Happy Anniversary my love!

Pissy-Pissy! (II)

Night had never seemed so long to me. I watched from the edge of my empty bunk as one by one everyone snuggled under their blankets, getting comfortable in preparation for the 7 to 8 hours of sleep they were going to get.

Sleep! Oh, precious sleep! My feet were beginning to hurt from standing so long so I stooped to my haunches. Some seniors at the far end of the room were talking and chuckling intermittently in hushed tones. That was about the only sound that could be heard in the apartment, that is, of course with the exception of the occasional snore or creak of a bunk under the weight of someone shifting into a more comfortable position.

Tired of stooping, I gradually lowered my butt to the floor and stretched out my legs in front of me. It must have been mid-night, everywhere was quiet. I wasn't sure why but I just couldn't get myself to fall asleep. I don't remember what I did to fill in the time but one thing I do remember clearly is that I wasn't the least bit afraid.

I listened to the sounds of the night outside silently amazed at how loudly the crickets seemed to be chirping. Some toads were croaking off in the distance and I imagined that they were all part of a large toad-y choir all lined up in front of a nice looking toad who was the choir master expertly coordinating their croaky singing. At a point, the loud croaking would cease abruptly for all of two minutes and then suddenly as though in response to the choir master's signal, some tiny insignificant toad would cue everyone in again by making a lone loud croak. The chorus starts all over again.
I wondered briefly what it must feel like to be a toad and sing in the choir but that thought was promptly squelched when it occurred to me that being a toad would mean that I would be outside in some stale pond shivering to death!

And then I felt it. That urgency you feel in the region of your groin that indicates that you've been holding on to your pee a long time. But I hadn't been holding in pee. I felt the urge to pee and already I felt really pressed? The urine was threatening to spill out of my bladder unaided so I pressed my outstretched legs together. I looked at the door then down at the region of my errant bladder and back at the door trying to mentally calculate how many seconds it would take me to dash to the door, throw the latch open and fly to the bathroom to pee.

I barely made it outside before the flood gates were thrown open. Trying to get to the bathroom would be a waste of effort, the pee was coming and it won't be stopped. I simply jumped onto the front lawn all the while struggling to tug down my panties. I bent down and let go. Peeing never felt so relieving. Ha! With my panties still hanging within the region of my knees,I resisted the strong urge to let out a loud "woo-hoo!". Instead, I placed my hands on my waist and threw my head back. With my eyes looking straight up into the star-filled skies and my lips broadened in a wide smile, I whispered a heart-felt "Thank You!". I pulled my panties back on and pranced happily back into the room.

I felt truly accomplished as I discovered for the first time the mechanics behind my peeing in bed at night. I had no doubt that had I been sleeping at the time I felt 'pressed' to pee, I'd have done it in bed without even making an effort! Somehow, I felt that the reason for staying awake that night had been accomplished. Of course I still didn't have a mattress but I suddenly knew what to do. It was the best option under the circumstance. I took my blanket and folded it two to give it some extra thickness and laid it on the floor. I laid on it bedsheet after bedsheet all folded in like manner and it wasn't long before i had me a make-shift mattress, a slim one though it was. Curled up in my favorite sleep position, I pulled my cover-cloth over my head and promptly fell asleep. I woke up early just before the wake-up call. I didn't want anyone to catch me on the floor with my make-shift mattress. Surprisingly, I felt as refreshed as though I had had a full 8-hour sleep instead of just 4. And the best part? My bedding was dry!

That was how my new sleep routine began. I stayed up till very late and ensured that I pee-d my 'midnight' pee. Then I went about setting up my make-shift mattress, going to sleep and getting up early. My results were consistent. Not once did I slip. Until the night I got caught.

Seyi was in form two. We didn't really talk much to each other except for the occasional "good-morning" which I mumbled to her whenever our paths crossed in the apartment as we all hurriedly tried to get dressed and get to our morning duty posts. Form one students didn't really owe form two students any ounce of respect because in truth, we were all in the same category of 'junior girl'. I didn't see any harm in showing a little bit of respect to Seyi anyway, besides, I greeted almost every one by default. Mommy taught me well!

There I was, enjoying my sweet solitude, sitting on the floor by my empty bunk, legs outstretched as usual waiting for the pressing urge to pee when suddenly my eyes were drawn to the the bunk diagonally opposite mine and there was Seyi peering down at me wide eyed from the top of her bunk.
For the first time since I started my new sleep routine I was startled and I could feel fear creeping up my spine. I held Seyi's eyes willing her to go back to sleep. For the first time too, I felt rather odd and ashamed. Like I was doing something really wrong, even diabolical. Seyi held my gaze and then I tilted my head at her questioningly. That was when she sat up on her bed and with an incredulous look on her face she whispered rather loudly "What are you doing there?"
I put my forefinger against my lips and shushed her as quietly as I could "Ssshhhh!".
She took surreptitious glances at both ends of the room as though to assure herself that no one had been disturbed and then she proceeded to come down from her bunk.
I waved both arms frantically at her "No, no, no no!"
She paused, looked at me and whispered , loudly still, "Tell me what you are doing on the floor!" The girl obviously lacked proper whispering skills.
She was surely going to get us both into trouble. I quickly pushed myself up, off the ground and in three long strides, I was by her bunk.

"You know I no longer have a mattress abi?" I began by way of explanation.
I quickly filled her in on my ordeal the past few weeks where I've had to sleep on the floor and the fear of embarrassment being the reason I had to wait until everyone was asleep before laying my 'bed'. By the time I was through, the look on her face said "You poor thing!".
Seyi turned to go back to sleep and I was satisfied, at least she would leave me alone now.
I made to return to my place when I felt her hand on my shoulder. She patted the space beside her and said, "You can share my bed Enkay".
There was an earnest look in her face and I knew she wasn't just pitying me. I was really touched by her kindness so I accepted.

The bed was so soft and warm that I fell asleep immediately. By morning I was alarmed at the wetness I felt on my night clothes. "Oh no!"
Seyi was no longer beside me. I knew I was done for. I'd taken the girl's kindness and peed all over it. I felt so bad!
Then the strangest thing happened. I took off my soiled night clothes but found that my panties were not wet. How was that possible? I was pondering on the mystery when I heard someone whisper my name. I turned and there was Seyi.
"Enkay, I'm really sorry about last night" she pleaded.
I was still trying to make head and tail of her statement when she raised her hands in which she held the night clothes she'd just changed out of.

It turned out that Seyi had wet her bed the night before! By the time that morning was over, Seyi and I had become fast friends. We were both pissy-pissies!
She wasn't half as chronic a bed-wetter as I was but she was one all the same. It was only then I explained to her exactly what I was doing on the floor the night and my newest discovery for preventing nightly episodes.
She was excited! We both tried it out and it worked!

She didn't have to follow a strict regimen like me because Seyi wet her bed only about once in 2 or 3 weeks but she was kind enough to keep me company.
By the end of my third term in JS1, I had become a brand new Enkay! I had a brand new mattress and not once did I wet my bed again. Amazingly, I no longer needed to stay awake at night. Even in the deepest part of my sleep, whenever I felt the urge,I simply got up and went to the bathroom. I was sure it was a miracle!

Needless to say, the name Pissy-Pissy no longer applied to me. Everyone just called me Enkay!

Pissy-Pissy!

Did you read the title right?

Yeah you did. It says "pissy-pissy!". At one point in my life, that was my nick name.

For the few of you who have no idea what pissy-pissy means, that's what you call a chronic bed-wetter.

There was nothing my parents didn't do to deal with this "issue" of their daughter's.

At one time, they said, no drinking of water after 6pm. They were strict about it and if I so much as looked at a glass longingly, I was in trouble.
It didn't work.

At another time, my mom made herself my personal 'peeing-guard'. She'd come to my room and wake me up at least 3 times every night.

It worked a bit but by the third day, I'd have already wet the bed before she got there to take me to the bathroom. And I'd be standing there all drenched in my own urine while my mom dutifully took off my soiled night clothes and changed them. She'd then change the soiled beddings to clean dry ones. Chances are that by morning I'd have soiled those too! Till date, I'm amazed at her patience!

The next thing was my aunties' threatening to go traaditional with me. They told me that back in the village, little boys and girls who wet their beds at
night had snakes and lizards tied around their waists. They swore that it worked wonders and that those children never again wet their beds. I took them seriously and out of fear, I think I actually did not wet the bed for at least a week at a stretch!

But that was as long as it lasted.

Finally, after being "pissy-pissy" for the first 7 years of my life, my parents took me to see a doctor.They were convinced I had a weak bladder. Yet the test results came in and pronounced my 'equipment' in perfect working condition. They put it down to psychological issues.
They asked me all sorts of questions -

Do you always dream that you're pissing in your dream? No.
Do you always feel pressed while you're asleep? No.
All my answers didn't bring them any closer to solving my bed-wetting puzzle. The truth is that I'm not even aware of pissing in bed until I wake up and find my clothes wet. The doctor decided to study my 'pissing'patterns. My parents were to fill in a chart of what I ate each day and to state whether or not I wet the bed each night. I still don't know what became of that study.
Needless to say, I remained pissy-pissy till I was eleven.

While I was busy being excited at the prospect of traveling more than 700km to start boarding school somewhere in the northern part of Nigeria, my mother was worrying herself sick about my 'pissing' issues.
My parents went on a shopping spree and bought us all kinds of stuff to go to school with (my sister and I were admitted the same year into different schools), needless to say that half of the stuff were termed 'contraband' at the school gate and taken away for 'safe-keeping'. But that story is for another day.

The night before I was to leave, my mother pulled me aside and explained to me the exact manner in which I was to make my bed in order to minimize bladder 'accidents'. She'd packed into my box this linoleum spread that we generally referred to as 'mackintosh' way back then.
The way she looked at me with a plea in her eyes almost made me feel sorry for myself. And maybe I did, for about five seconds or so.
I threw my arms around her neck and gave her a huge hug, assuring her that she had nothing to worry about. And I had reason to feel somewhat confident. The frequency of my peeing had gone from three times each night to once every night to once every other night. If you were in my shoes, you'd see that as enough reason to be quite smug.

That trip was one of my most memorable trips. For the first time, I caught a glimpse of just how large and beautiful this great country was. My entire young life up until that point had been confined to the streets and avenues of FESTAC town and a few other parts of Lagos. All the other states of Nigeria were mere pictures of lines and dots on a map.

I arrived the school in that awestruck mood, ready for whatever my new life held in store for me. In a few hours after arriving, I was shown my bed space and locker. I had never had the 'luxury' of sleeping on a metal bunk and I felt quite accomplished after several failed
attempts at climbing onto the top bunk finally yielded success. It was a spectacle to behold. Every conceivable part of my body was involved in the climbing exercise - arms, feet, chin, chest, abdomen...I'm sure you get the picture. As they say, practice makes perfect. By the time it was nightfall, I'd mastered the climbing art quite some. And I fell asleep with a smile on my face. It was my first night in boarding school.

I wish I could explain to you the shock with which I landed on the floor from that height. All my 'de-bunking' skills promptly forgotten, I must have flown off the bed. I was confused. Several voices were barking at me all at the same time and hands were pulling me here and there. I couldn't for the life of me fathom where I was. And all these faces....I panicked! My first thought was to find the nearest exit out of the place or better still, wake up from this really bad dream. And then suddenly, it hit me! Oh! This was school! It all started coming back to me slowly....moving my stuff into the room; placing my toiletories and provisions in my locker; making my bed; practicing climbing onto and climbing down from my top bunk... Twai! A slap across my face hastened the recollection process. I held my left cheek in my left hand and locked eyes with senior Kanayo. Suddenly, I knew exactly what had happened.

I had wet the bed and it had dripped all over her from my bed to hers on the bottom bunk. In all my excitement, I had forgotten to spread the mackintosh beneath my bedsheets.

Several seniors had gathered to commiserate with senior Kanayo and after some deliberation, they all decided that I was to be pardoned seeing as I was a new student and they 'understood' that sleeping in a strange bed could do 'strange' things to anyone.
After several weeks however, it became clear that my pissing in bed wasn't so strange after all as it had become a nightly event. Even though I never again rained piss on senior Kanayo, the stench of fermented adult piss that emanated from my bed could not be mistaken. The name "pissy-pissy" was becoming synonymous with the name Enkay.

By the time we were half way through the first term, my mackintosh was in tatters from being spread in the sun hours on end. My regular bedsheets were gradually becoming thread bare from being washed every other day and my mattress was slowly becoming non-existent. Let me explain that part about becoming non-existent.

My smelly mattress was not allowed to stay in the room - for obvious reasons of course. Every morning, before I left for class, I had to spread it on the front lawn. I was only allowed to bring it in after supper, just before bed time. One of those days, while I struggled to take my mattress into the room, it got caught in shards of glass from broken louvers in a window. That was the first of several tears that had my mattress-cover ripped to shreds exposing only the foam underneath.

It wasn't really a problem at first until I returned to the hostel one day to find a fist-sized chunk of my mattress missing. A fist-sized chunk didn't matter especially when it was at the bottom but it started to matter when the missing chunks increased in size and frequency.
You see, the floors of the apartments in the hostels had to be mopped every morning and the 'mops' were usually chunks of foam and guess where those foams came from? Unsuspecting exposed mattresses such as mine!

Soon, my mattress became the 'mop' target. Every single day, a piece went away to become a mop and my mattress steadily dwindled. By mid-term, the length of my mattress was just a little longer than an average pillow. It no longer qualified to be called a mattress.

One day, just before I left for class I took out my 'mattress', dropped it on the front lawn and silently said good bye to it. It was as though I knew I would never see it again 'cos that afternoon, it rained and my mattress was flooded. There was no hope of recovery.
When night fell, I stood by my empty bunk and watched as everyone snuggled under their blankets and settled in for the night. I was probably going to stand all night.

I had to overcome my 'pissing' problem. You'll see how in my next post!